hi.
a few days ago, I remembered my passion for writing and talking. I used to love writing here, updating my life, and posting random things that I like to share with people. I still love talking, but it changes. I don't talk to strangers anymore. If they talk to me, it will be a one-way conversation.
let me tell you guys a story.
this semester break, I work 4 jobs as I have to save money for my next semester. for the first week of one of my jobs, my co-worker always updates her sister, who is my close friend about me. she will update her on my progress haha. I only talked to her (excluding the work-related) on the fifth day. but, I talked about just a few things. little that they know, I hate myself when I back home for talking to her. no hate for her, but I don't know. I feel so cringe at myself for talking about myself to other people. then, I took mbti test again.
my introvert level is increasing to the peak hahahhaahaha. if my 17-years-old me see this result, she would not believe me as I was 100% extroverted during my high school time. but I'm glad that I still can be my extroverted self if I'm with my close friend. But sometimes, I struggled to keep pace.
----------------------------------------
today is actually a year after my father died. yup, he died. 02.10.2021. I miss him so badly. all the changes started in 2018, right after he got sick. colon cancer stage 4. may Allah accept him and his deeds. ameen inshaAllah.
al-fatihah.
------------------------------------------
back to my current update: what are the changes from the post here would be;
- "crying-every-night" phase is not coming back alhamdulillah. but I would still cry from time to time. if I stumble upon any videos on social media about fathers, family, etc, I would easily cry. hehe. if I got too stressed about life, I cried. I cry for every reason sksksks.
- I still hate to socialize with people.
- I got my 9-years best friend back hehe. Alhamdulillah. But we are no longer close as we were. But we love each other.
- I am still trying to survive.
-------------------------------------------
I'm nervous about my last semester at IIUM. next semester. it will be hectic af and I hope I can do my best and score it.
goodluck krmh. you can do it.