Saturday, 14 March 2020

2020; lyfe update

Assalamualaikum and hi.

It's nice to start writing again... after almost a year. Lots of things has been changed. Me too. But i dont really think i have changed.

Do you remember my "overthinking" post last year in February? The link will be here. I would like to talk about it again. Just want to recap and update my current life with you guys.

I wrote about how I hate to meet new people. How I hate to be with stranger. How I hate to socialize with others. How I overthinking everything.

I have been passed "crying-every-night" phase as I am a lot more stronger than before. However, I stay the same as I still hate to meet a lot of people. I hate being with large circle of people. I hate to socialize with others. Yup, I repeat my last year sentences.

Here is my last month story. About a day after my birthday.
One day, I put my name on the volunteer list to in charge for a booth. For 2 hours period. There were a lot of people whose were not strangers for me. I knew all of them. But, I felt suffocated and exhausted there. I just kept quite and I really wanted to go back to my room as soon as I can. I felt like I wanted to cry. I cant be myself.

It's weird. I was scared to even talk to people.

I can't really figure it out the cause of my feelings. I just don't know....

And I even lost my best friend. My 7-years best friend. It was because of myself. I always called her just to cry my lung out. I don't know her problems as I just think about my own self. I'm a loser....

I still want to disappear from everyone. I want people to forget me. I just want....
But I am trying to survive here.
Make a du'a for me.
Thank you.

Monday, 22 April 2019

My Israk Mikraj poster! :))

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