Sunday 2 October 2022

2022: current update


a few days ago, I remembered my passion for writing and talking. I used to love writing here, updating my life, and posting random things that I like to share with people. I still love talking, but it changes. I don't talk to strangers anymore. If they talk to me, it will be a one-way conversation. 

let me tell you guys a story.

this semester break, I work 4 jobs as I have to save money for my next semester. for the first week of one of my jobs, my co-worker always updates her sister, who is my close friend about me. she will update her on my progress haha. I only talked to her (excluding the work-related) on the fifth day. but, I talked about just a few things. little that they know, I hate myself when I back home for talking to her. no hate for her, but I don't know. I feel so cringe at myself for talking about myself to other people. then, I took mbti test again.

mbti result: Apr 23, 2021

mbti result: Jul 22, 2022

my introvert level is increasing to the peak hahahhaahaha. if my 17-years-old me see this result, she would not believe me as I was 100% extroverted during my high school time. but I'm glad that I still can be my extroverted self if I'm with my close friend. But sometimes, I struggled to keep pace.


today is actually a year after my father died. yup, he died. 02.10.2021. I miss him so badly. all the changes started in 2018, right after he got sick. colon cancer stage 4. may Allah accept him and his deeds. ameen inshaAllah.



back to my current update: what are the changes from the post here would be;

- "crying-every-night" phase is not coming back alhamdulillah. but I would still cry from time to time. if I stumble upon any videos on social media about fathers, family, etc, I would easily cry. hehe. if I got too stressed about life, I cried. I cry for every reason sksksks. 

- I still hate to socialize with people. 

- I got my 9-years best friend back hehe. Alhamdulillah. But we are no longer close as we were. But we love each other. 

-  I am still trying to survive. 


I'm nervous about my last semester at IIUM. next semester. it will be hectic af and I hope I can do my best and score it.

goodluck krmh. you can do it.

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