My Israk Mikraj poster! :))

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Overthinking.

Disclaimer: I dont check my grammar. But feel free to judge my grammar! I dont mind :) and yeah, i'm still learning how to write better in english.

Heyyo!

I'm back.
I just want to express my feelings here, though only 5 people view my previous post aha! Nah, i dont mind. I dont post because of views anymore (yeah, I used to post because of the rating -_-)

Actually, i think i have a problem. I'm so confused right now whether i need to make appointment with counselor or not.

Last year, I got family's problemS. Yeah, lots of problems. I barely can manage all the problems. After that, I changed. I'm not the same person like before.

20 years. I used to mingle with stranger easily. I can go anywhere alone, make friends within an hour. I can socializing with people happily. I was a person who happy all the time. I also liked to volunteer in anything, leadership, debate, or short speech in front of people.

But today, for almost 4 months, I still can go anywhere alone, but I dont know how to make friends anymore. I hate to know new people. I dont like to be with stranger, I dont want to socialize with people, I stop volunteer in anything.

I still seem to be happy-go-lucky in front of my friends, my family.

Yet, every night.... I cried. I become over-sensitive in anything. Even if my friends replied my chat without emoji or without any tone, my mood will change in a second. I overthinking everything.

I dont know.....

Sometimes, I just want to disappear from everyone. I want people to forget me. I just want.

Before 21.

Holla.

In a few days, I will become a big girl, nah a woman. Not a girl anymore. I seriously don't know how fast days nowadays. I still remember me being a school student, being a small girl with a big dream. But now, I'm a university student, still a small girl with the same dream alhamdulillah. But, apparently, I feel something different. I no longer have desire to have social medias such as twitter or instagram. I feel like twitter nowadays more like a medium to talk bad about people, to just express your feeling without even thinking first whether it is right or wrong. I really dont like scrolling and reading it because I easily get mad of it. I feel like instagram nowadays more like a medium for me to show off everything. I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

So, I want to delete everything. I want to stay away from it. Enjoying my days without scrolling into it.

Life is always hard. I always want to disappear from everyone. I feel like I'm so lonely. I feel like I'm far away from Allah. I dont want to feel like this.....

Allah....

I will get back to my blog again inshaAllah. Wish you guys happy life dunia & akhirat. Bye.