Saturday, 16 February 2019

Advance birthday post for you (Part 1)

16/02/2019

Assalamualaikum awak.

Awak sihat? Saya doakan awak sentiasa dalam keadaan sihat walafiat, Ameen InshaAllah. Macam mana praktikal? Kerja still overload? Jangan give up eh? Sikit je lagi. Beberapa bulan je lagi.

Maaf ya, saya buatkan post ni untuk awak. Bulan ni, bulan birthday awak & saya. Saya takboleh tipu, saya still mengharapkan janji awak. Janji yang kita nak sambut birthday sama-sama. Awak 23Feb, saya 24Feb.

Awak janji nak datang sini.
Awak janji nak sambut sama-sama.
Awak janji nak stay dengan saya hari birthday awak & hari birthday saya.
Awak janji nak stay dengan saya at least sampai birthday kita berdua.

Tapi.
Awak dah tak contact macam dulu dah.
Awak dah tak tanya khabar saya dah.
Awak dah tak call saya dah.

Last, bulan duabelas tahun lepas.

Awak cakap awak sibuk dengan kerja.
Awak cakap awak letih dengan kerja.
Awak cakap awak takde masa untuk saya.

Tapi kan,
Saya tahu je awak ada masa untuk bukak ig awak.
Saya tahu je awak ada masa untuk scroll facebook awak.
Saya tahu je awak ada masa untuk lepak dengan kawan-kawan awak.

Ya awak pernah bagitahu saya.
Tempat saya lepas family & kawan-kawan awak.

Saya faham.
Saya cuba faham.
Sebab, kita bukan ada apa-apa hubungan pun kan?
Kawan. Tak lebih, tak kurang.
Saya tahu.

-

Selamat hari lahir ke-21 Hafizul.
Wish awal seminggu.
Sebab saya nak jadi orang pertama yang wish birthday awak.

Selamat hari lahir.
Semoga panjang umur & dimurahkan rezeki.
Semoga cita-cita awak untuk bebas hutang before umur 30 tercapai.
Semoga awak dan keluarga sihat sentiasa.
Semoga awak menjadi anak, abang dan adik yang solehah untuk keluarga awak.
Semoga setiap kebaikan awak dibalas syurga oleh Allah SWT.
Semoga awak menjadi hambaNya yang soleh.
Semoga setiap doa ini dimakbulkan oleh Allah SWT.

Ameen ya Allah.

Dan.
Semoga tidak lupa saya.

Yang merindui,
krmh.

Sunday, 10 February 2019

Overthinking.

Disclaimer: I dont check my grammar. But feel free to judge my grammar! I dont mind :) and yeah, i'm still learning how to write better in english.

Heyyo!

I'm back.
I just want to express my feelings here, though only 5 people view my previous post aha! Nah, i dont mind. I dont post because of views anymore (yeah, I used to post because of the rating -_-)

Actually, i think i have a problem. I'm so confused right now whether i need to make appointment with counselor or not.

Last year, I got family's problemS. Yeah, lots of problems. I barely can manage all the problems. After that, I changed. I'm not the same person like before.

20 years. I used to mingle with stranger easily. I can go anywhere alone, make friends within an hour. I can socializing with people happily. I was a person who happy all the time. I also liked to volunteer in anything, leadership, debate, or short speech in front of people.

But today, for almost 4 months, I still can go anywhere alone, but I dont know how to make friends anymore. I hate to know new people. I dont like to be with stranger, I dont want to socialize with people, I stop volunteer in anything.

I still seem to be happy-go-lucky in front of my friends, my family.

Yet, every night.... I cried. I become over-sensitive in anything. Even if my friends replied my chat without emoji or without any tone, my mood will change in a second. I overthinking everything.

I dont know.....

Sometimes, I just want to disappear from everyone. I want people to forget me. I just want.
 
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